Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
