Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Randomize
