Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Randomize
