? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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