sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
did you just send me my own nude
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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