Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
