I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Randomize
