Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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