they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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