If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
