hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
