I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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