I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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