so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Randomize
