just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
