I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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