D3 body, D1 cock
zippers are such a cool invention
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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