whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Randomize
