D3 body, D1 cock
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Im part way to drunk.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
