There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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