I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize