Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
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