you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
My life is pants optional.
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