so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
She's not a foreskin expert like you
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I am mentally ready for anal.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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