I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
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