I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
