So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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