who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I wanna passion pit in your ass
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
