Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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