Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
please don't ironically join a cult
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