Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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