Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize