Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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