dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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