Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
