Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
