Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
