i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
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