Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize