Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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