Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
