is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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