Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
