Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
