I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
