I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
