His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
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