he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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