He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
