please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize