Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
two words...techno handjob
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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