She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
