i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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