i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
it glows. i had to have it.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Randomize
