I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
