She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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