Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
