I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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