you guys were way drunker than both of me
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
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