there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
