rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
